Editor Intro: Scattered around the pages of the kingdoms, tucked neatly into the magazines like well crafted nests, Emoo, longtime inhabitant of the lands of Wurm, will be taking time to track down citizens and delicately pick their brains. He starts his little foray interviewing the rather indelicately named Spasticsquirrel.

Well after a seemingly endless literary dormancy I decided to return with vengeance! My choice of weapon this time is the interview. So, with this firmly in my mental grasp I donned the reporter’s hat and even the interviewer’s pants and with our editors notes still clanging in my ears dipped my toes into the murky pool that is the world of Wurm. A slightly confused looking Spasticsquirrel gazed in mock horror at me as I appeared notepad in hand and attempted to chew on his leg. After a while it was clear my efforts were proving to be fruitless and I set about conducting my very first interview instead.

“Err well that was possibly an unsettling way to introduce myself but err…I was wondering if you had a spare 30mins or so to be harassed with a few questions. I am making a series of Wurmian profiles, about the people of Wurm, and it would seem you're my chosen first victim!” Spasticsquirrel looked slightly confused and then a bit embarrassed “I'm not nearly interesting enough for a sentence let alone an article” he chuckled. “Oh pish posh,” I replied taken aback at his modesty. “I promise I'll make you look good. Besides I'm sure that it is not true and if it is, well I’ll just have to make things up. Which I might add, is a dangerous road to go down.”

Clearly able to spot my enlightened humor Spasticsquirrel went ahead conducting his own little interview with himself much to my amusement. “Oh well I have a HUUUUGE package and umm... a butler... oh and I smoke a pipe... Oh right stuff that’s real! Not the magical fairyland inside my head…” Now grinning and sure I was going to enjoy this interview I decided to push onwards. “Well I think perhaps we should start with the boring stuff first. Such as your nationality, How long you’ve been around and where you live in Wurm.”

Spasticsquirrel cleared his throat for a moment, “Well I was born in Australia, Earthside, and have yet to escape my roots permanently. Retarded Rabbit is my lazy priest friend; Spasticsquirrel is the main deal... for the record! But err…I first encountered Wurm in my travels during the beta age but it was a bit too chaotic for me to consider it as more than a bit of a novelty with potential, can't remember which area exactly but a lot of the names of people still seem to be around. I managed to miss the first gold age entirely, and regret it as many have praised how good it was. Ended up rediscovering Wurm a few months into the second gold age and adopted the name Spasticsquirrel on the Jenn Kellon home lands; September 07 if I recall correctly.”

Intrigued I continued to delve into Spasticsquirrel’s world. “Well, Wurm certainly must have had something "special" to maintain your interest and drag you back. Why do the lands of Wurm appeal to you?” Spasticsquirrel paused for a moment clearly deep in thought “Mostly the lack of authority and limitations that try to force you to live in a particular way. I like that Wurm has very few obstructions to freedom of choice and life choice. The community has also been fantastic, from the old home lands and here as well in Independence; although I feel Freedom still has some catching up to do. I came to Wurm before golden valley was discovered, which meant as a total new person I could mix with some very skilled people and it was really enjoyable receiving their helping hand.”

“Ah yes, the pre-GV days. I still remember them from when I was a nooblet out being eaten by various eight legged fiends. I certainly still remember a lot of the people around that time. Who in your mind stands out when you think back across in your time in Wurm?”

At this point Spasticsquirrel sat down on a nearby tree stump and appeared to be hard in thought. “I am horrible with names, but the citizens of Serenity Port were a fantastic bunch and helped out wherever possible. In terms of individuals that I felt added a lot to the world, Dannyiron was always helpful to new people and his merchants always had obscure items at low prices that most people would never bother stocking. I hope his academy here on Independence proves just as beneficial to new players moving over from GV.” Seeing a new side to Spasticsquirrel I continued “Well you certainly seem to be very interested in the wellbeing of the community and such. What are your current aspirations or goals in Wurm?”

Spasticsquirrel leaned back against a tree and smiled, clearly enjoying the interview. “Well like most of us I want to see the lands grow as well as the community. I personally would like to try and participate in more community events (ed makes note about future slave) and am really looking forward to Christmas. I’m hoping to attend any celebrations or the famous Christmas impalongs etc that may arise and maybe some kind of treasure hunt or something that encourages people away from solitary crafting. After the millennium impalong I was really proud of how so many people did come and cooperated and worked well together with minimal rules; I can only hope the Christmas events this year will be bigger and more can be involved, as I would hope most will have finished developing their deeds by then.”

“As a long term Wurmian you probably are aware of the ever changing nature of Wurm. What would you change if godlike powers were imparted upon you? Well that is, if anything?”

Spasticsquirrel chuckled “The ability to make everybody happy!...Umm, that's a really good question, and hard to answer confidently... off the cuff I suppose I would like to be able to thoroughly test and clean out all the unexplained problems in Wurm and to reduce the causes of arguments and distrust between some very committed players. Obviously with such a changing game, that dream will never be realized, but we can still work towards more polished Lands.”

My time was running out with this thoughtful Wurmian. “Oh I just realized I missed one thing. Where do you currently live in Wurm? Just incase one of our lovely Wurmian women reads this (or men perhaps) and wants to look you up?” He got up and pointed to the east as he spoke. “At present I am hiding in a 3x2 shoebox west of dragon fang (the spire!); about 10 minutes sail west of the impalong site. I like to travel and am hesitant to call any one place home, but it does for now.”

At this point I decided that I should wrap things up as I had more than I needed for my first article and my editor would definitely be a little more than upset if I continued to slaughter his 200-300 word recommended limit.  “Ah a humble abode for a humble Wurmian. Only one question left, and that would be.....THE QUESTION OF THE DAY!” A crooked grin crossed Spasticsquirrel’s face “Damn, I was about to leg it too” Holding back a laugh I managed to spit out the question. “What is your favorite Wurmian quote and why?”

Spasticsquirrel pulled a face that I was beginning to get used to; I realized it was the one he used when attempting to think. “Putting me on the spot again! Bad with names, bad with words in general. Hmm I suppose it would be that one from Notch, that Wurm will never have dragons; that was priceless! The only other one that compares is Rolf saying "this looks bugged" when analyzing the damage caused by shaker orbs.” He said laughing. Joining in the laughter I decided to part ways with clearly a very impressive Wurmian. “Well I guess that's all and Dinner is calling me. So anything you'd like me to change before I outrageously edit this and start the prints rolling? (Yes, stop splitting infinitives – Ed.)

Spasticsquirrel grinned once more as he picked up his backpack and began walking into the tress.  “Nah not at all... make it all pretty...The gist works for me.” “Well in that case the gist will have to do! Thanks for being a good sport. Have a good night.” I shouted after the now disappearing figure in the trees. “No problem, thanks Mr Emoo” A now faint voice carried its way through the trees to me.

The Mighty Emoo is a Chat and Forum Moderator and is currently living on Independence in the Freedom Isles. Look out for future Profiles of you favorite characters from across the lands of Wurm, both north and south of the Circle Sea.

No trees were harmed in the making or viewing of this article. However a great deal of electrons were inconvenienced.